CALL CENTER BLOOPERS
Here are some "Bloopers" at the Call Centers just to lighten up your day !
Telesales agent getting the customer’s credit card info:
Agent: Can I have your expiration date, sir?
Customer: My what?!!
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Agent verifying info from the customer:
Agent: Is that a P for Ping-Pong?
Customer: No, it’s B.
Agent: Oh, B, like Bing-Bong…
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Customer trying to return a defective product:
Customer: I need to return this defective sauna belt that you delivered yesterday.
Agent: For that concern, you can call our customer service at www.picustomerservi ce.com.
Customer: Call where??!!
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Agent giving the customer service web address: India , C- as in costume, U- as in you,
Agent: It’s P- as in Papa, I- as in
S- as in Sam, T- as in Tango, O…. Oscar…V- for Voy…
Agent wrapping up the sale, trying to give the account info to customer:
Agent: I will now be giving you your account number and order confirmation number, do you have a PEN and BALLPEN with you?
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Agent trying to create urgency over the available promotion:
Agent: Are you sure you don’t want to take advantage of me?
Customer: Say, what?
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Agent trying to upsell a warranty: California , a plane crashed into a customer’s house, their dish was replaced, no questions asked!
Agent: Here’s an example: In
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Agent trying to upsell a TiVo to customer:
Agent: With a TiVo, you can do this and that, and you know, pretty much anything under the sun. Isn’t that a great offer?
Customer: What?
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Agent was asking the customer about the cost of his cable service:
Agent: How much are you paying with your current provider?
Customer: Well, I’m only paying $25.00 (–which is way cheaper than what the agent was offering)
Agent: (Surprised) Shet, magkano??!!
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Agent getting customer’s address: )
Agent: Can I have your address, please?
Customer: It’s twenyfurfif- ysavan newyaorkgh road (
2457 New York Road
Agent: Can you repeat that ulit?
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Agent asking the customer to be put on hold:
Tech Agent: Sir, Can I hold you for just a minute?
Customer: Sure, baby, go ahead!
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Agent verifying correct spelling:
Agent: Is that a B as in boy, or a B as in Bravo?
Customer: …uhmmm… how about B as in Boy?
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Technical Agent giving customer support: Alabama accent)
Agent: Is the ethernet cord connected?
Cust: Tha Hwhut??? (with
Agent: Yung yellow cord kung nakakabit ba!
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Agent from a local phone company entertaining a Visayan customer:
Customer: hillo! wala kasi yung bell ng pon namin?? BELL ! yong lestahan nong babayaran namin!!
Agent: Hindi naman po ba nabags ak yung phone?
Customer: Hende naman.
Agent: Kailan pa po ito nagsimula?
Customer: Ang alen?
Agent: Na hindi po nagri-ring yung phone?
Customer: Nagre-reng naman ah?!
Agent: Di ba sabi mo walang ring?
Customer: Hende! yong
Agent: aahhh… yung BILL?!
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Technical Agent: To help you out with your concern, ma’am, let me just pull out my tool here, ok? (referring to a computer program used in call centers to address the customer’s concerns)
Customer: Pull out your what now?
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Customer: What is that?! I dont understand. I don’t want to talk to you.
Agent: Who do you want to talk to?
Customer: I want to talk to the highest person.
Agent: My supervisor is not available as of the moment sir.
Customer: I said, I want to talk to the highest person.
Agent: Ok, you want to talk to the highest person?
Customer: Yes!
Agent: Do you want to talk to God?
Customer: what the f***! I’d rather talk to you.
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Irate Customer: F***k you!
Tech Support: Sir, we’re not allowed to say "F***k you!" here…
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Customer: what?
Agent: C as in CAT. C-A-T as in meow meow…
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Agent: Thank you for calling us, this is Candy, how may I help you?
Customer: What did you say your name was… Mandy?
Agent: No, sir, it’s Candy.
Customer: Sorry, i can’t hear ya… didja say Mandy?
Agent: It’s Candy sir… Candy… as in Storck!
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Agent: Alright, let me verify that… Was that a "G" as in golf?
Customer (with a different accent): NO! That was a "G" as! in GEBRA! (z as in zebra) Oh, Gebra! like the one in the Goo?!
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Agent: Yeah, sir….hello sir… are you there?
Customer: Yes, sorry. I’m still there.
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Agent: Ok, s ir… do u have a PEN and a PENCIL ready?
Customer: What?!!
Agent: Oh, Im sorry, sir… i mean, do u have a PEN and a BALLPEN ready?
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Agent: I’d like to speak with Billy Thompson please?
Contact: He’s not in. Would you like to leave a message in his voicemail?
Agent: Sure, SIGE..
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Tech support: We’re going to perform a check disk to see if your hard drive has errors in it. Please type in C-H-K-D-S-K.
Customer: What is that again?
Tech Support: C-H-K-D-S-K. .. that is… C as in Charlie… H as in Harley… K as in Karly.. D as in Darley… S as in Sarley… and K as in Karly… got it?
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Actual
Call Center Conversations!
Customer: ‘I’ve been calling 700-1000 for two days and can’t get through; can you help?’
Operator: ‘Where did you get that number, sir?’
Customer: ‘It’s on the door of your business.’
Operator: ‘Sir, those are the hours that we are open.’
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Samsung Electronics
Caller: ‘Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?’
Operator: ‘I’m sorry, sir, I don’t understand who you are talking about.’
Caller: ‘On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?’
Operator: ‘I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.’
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Australia ?’
RAC Motoring Services
Caller: ‘Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling in
Operator: ‘Does the product name give you a clue?’
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France , and then take it to
England , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?’
Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe)
‘If I register my car in
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Directory Enquiries
Caller: ‘I’d like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please’
Operator: ‘I’m sorry, there’s no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?’
Caller: ‘Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the ‘B’ fell off.’
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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven. Scotland .’
Operator: ‘Woven? Are you sure?’
Caller: ‘Yes. That’s what it says on the label — Woven in
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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: ‘I haven’t got a pen, so I’m steaming up the window to write the number on.’
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Tech Support: ‘I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.’
Customer: ‘OK.’
Tech Support: ‘Did you get a pop-up menu?’
Customer: ‘No.’
Tech Support: ‘OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?’
Customer: ‘No.’
Tech Support: ‘OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?’
Customer: ‘Sure. You told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.’
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Tech Support: ‘OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the ‘OK’ button displayed?’
Customer: ‘Wow! How can you see my screen from there?’
Caller: ‘I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?’
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Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations! ):
Operator: ‘Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?’
Caller: ‘Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect. ‘
Operator: ‘What sort of trouble??’
Caller: ‘Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.’
Operator: ‘Went away?’
Caller: ‘They disappeared. ‘
Operator: ‘Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?’
Caller: ‘Nothing.’
Operator: ‘Nothing??’
Caller: ‘It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.’
Operator: ‘Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??’
Caller: ‘How do I tell?’
Operator: ‘Can you see the ‘C: prompt’ on the screen??’
Caller: ‘What’s a see-prompt?’
Operator: ‘Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?’
Caller: ‘There isn’t any cursor; I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.’
Operator: ‘Does your monitor have a power indicator??’
Caller: ; ‘What’s a monitor?’
Operator: ‘It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on??’
Caller: ‘I don’t know.’
Operator: ‘Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??’
Caller: ‘Yes, I think so.’
Operator: ‘Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.
Caller: ‘Yes, it is.’
Operator: ‘When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??’
Caller: ‘No.’
Operator: ‘Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.’
Caller: ‘Okay, here it is.’
Operator: ‘Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.’
Caller: ‘I can’t reach.’
Operator: ‘OK. Well, can you see if it is??’
Caller: ‘No.’
Operator: ‘Even if f you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??’
Caller: ‘Well, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle — it’s because it’s dark.’
Operator: ‘Dark??’
Caller: ‘Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.’
Operator: ‘Well, turn on the office light then.’
Caller: ‘I can’t.’
Operator: ‘No? Why not??’
Caller: ‘Because there’s a power failure.’
Operator: ‘A power …. A power failure? Aha. Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in??’
Caller: ‘Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.’
Operator: ‘Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.’
Caller: ‘Really? Is it that bad?’
Operator: ‘Yes, I’m afraid it is.’
Caller: ‘Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??’
Operator: ‘Tell them you’re too stupid to own a computer!!!’
